Dear dad,18 Jun, 2012 11:09 AM
Yesterday was fathers day, I was on Facebook scrolling through endless pictures of all my friends with their fathers knowing I never had that and never would. why? Because you replaced me with your new wife and kids.Its been 1 full year and you still haven't called to tell me you got married. The whole family went but no one told me. No one called saying,Hey Clarissa your dad just got married. I had to find out from my cousin through facebook 3 months AFTER you got married! I haven't talked to you for the past 3 months because I choose not to.
Do you know that I went to the hospital for cutting too deep on my birthday? Did you know that I stay up all night looking at the new pictures of you and "your family". do you remember in December when I called you crying saying that I loved you and that I was sorry for cutting myself but all you did was call me a pathetic cutter. Mom was there through it all she's the one who took me to the counselor to get help she's the one who hugged me when she found me slicing my upper arm. Remember when I got the award for highest reading level, wait no you don't you weren't there. I don't care if you hate me but promise to never hate my brother. He's done nothing wrong he's innocent in everything.
Dad you left me in some of my darkest moment like the night I attempted to overdose you. Dad you're the reason for all of this I thought maybe if I died, you would care about me for once but I guess not. All I ever asked of you was for you to love me to be the dad I always wanted but you don't want to. Do you remember dad the day you left us? The day where I stood up against the chain link fence banging against it begging you not to go? I remember getting the skinned knees from when I opened the fence and ran after the car but fell down you never turned back. Dad I love you even though you replaced me. I love you even though you called me pathetic. Why do I still love you?... because you're my dad.
Dad this letter is one you probably never will see; its a letter of me saying goodbye and not looking back just like you never looked back on me.