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Should i be happy or sad?


29 May, 2010 07:54 AM

My life has always given me suprises....i come from a middle class family..we couldnt get everything but we were happy but despite the days my mum n dad would fight....til my dad would beat my dad would be violent wen he was drunk....then when my sis was 19 she got married...she wasnt realy sure about it bt my mum said just do it...she wasnt happy with the guy...he would beat her up n they would argue all the time..aftr their kids they became better....i always thought things would be different for me...but no....when i turned 16 my sister's aunt came to us to get me n her son hooked up....n my mum agreed...i felt like kiling myslf....n d worst was wen my dad wasnt drunk my mum was dominant n when she said this would hapen...i agreed but i said i wanna get married when i am at least 22...i started chatin with the guy karan...he was realy sweet we soon started loving each other very much....just 6 mths later my dad passed away :( . he suportd me so much during the hard times....he stil loves me so much but the problem is they have fixd my wedding next year....i'm 18 now so i'll be 19 then...all my frends make fun out of me n say u getting married...even people from the town say you are so young....what happend...why so soon.... sometimes i feel like kiling myslf.... on the other hand karan loves me so much and we get on so well..... i curse my mum at times....i actualy got engaged when i was 16 in this 21st century....i donno what to do? i cant break up coz its gonna be embarrassing for d family as i come from an indian family.....i get depressed when people say u r so young n u r already engaged?? what should i do? should i just forget all that my mum did n just carry on with karan?? i know ill be happy with him.... but on the other hand ill be always unhappy 2 be maried early n to not get time to enjoy my life with friends....your views will b greatly appreciated...please give me advice on what to do.

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HINA says:
30 May, 2010 12:28 PM

hello dear i read you story. You might not need my advice but I am gona give you anyway. You said that you love a guy that you chat with but have you seen him? Do you know enough about him and does he really love you?
I completely understand that you do not want to married at this stage so you should speak to you mother and she cannot forcefully get you married, can she? Another thing is that you said that people says that you are young and you are getting married but sweetheart it's your life not people?s so you should not be listening to people who talks all the time because its their habit to interfere with people's life, isn?t it? If I were you i would think carefully whether I want to get married or not (not listen to people's rubbish views) If I do not want to get married then I?ll just tell the guy and my family it before it gets too late.
Some times we think we love someone but it?s only a crush. In order to understand that it is love, you need to give your self sometimes to see either you feelings are still the same for that person. I think you are taking steps very quickly by jumping straight into a conclusion that you love him. Do not take me wrong but if you want to live with someone who you love in return you want love back. Most guys just use girls and after few months their love flies away so you need to really make sure that he really loves you so therefore you need to give plenty of time to understand him and make a decision because I do not want you to get hurt. You might love him but he might not so its better to be heartbroken at the beginning then afterwards if he leaves you or go after someone else which will then make you feel dumb, stupid and you will not be able to trust anyone else in your life than life become very difficult to live. If he loves you then he will come and ask for you and will get married to you but he just wants you to be his gf than I would say he does not truly love you. Those guys who wants to marry you, would give you respect which means that he is full committed to you so if you are serious about love then you should think about all the factors surrounds it. One last thing is that every mother wants their children?s happiness so stop cursing your mum and try you understand her view point and make her you friend so that she can understand you too. You mum has seen more life than you so she understand more. She might be very typical but she is not as bad as you think. THINK DEEPLY BEFORE YOU HURT OTHER OR GET HURT.

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crystal says:
30 May, 2010 06:17 PM

Well you should have not let your mom to take over your life even though shes your mom still if you dont want to get married just cancel the whole thing and just be karens girl freind and have fun withyour freinds.Now,you dont have to hear thougs mean no hearted people.Thats my advice please use it.

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PERVEZ says:
31 May, 2010 05:34 AM

you have to think about your praents also .... you have to decide two options praents or love.....
from my side i go with praents ..... bcoz they have given love to me from childwood & this my love is of few years ....
if praents agree with love then both things go good .... this is my way of thinking wish u best ,,,,, take care be HAPPY.

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tania says:
31 May, 2010 10:24 PM

if u really love him#her marry him if u dnt cancel it!

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nasrine says:
23 Jul, 2010 04:04 PM

in my opinion i think u should talk to ur mom and if she dosnt agree....... well i mean u don know if ur gunna find a guy like that again but at the same time ur teenage life only comes once in a lifetime

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